the one where 'I' write in lower case and reflect on things

hello there, 

so this post came up in my Facebook memories today (yes I check it everyday at 12 am if I can, I have no life). 

anyways, it came up and at first I was going to re-share it but as I was doing that I reread it and it didn't feel right, here's why;

yes, we cannot control how we feel sometimes, but most of the time we do. it is a fact that i refused to believe for years, and still do sometimes but it is true nevertheless. 

yes, we should never apologize for who we are at least when it comes to others, but what about ourselves?

how we feel sometimes affects us, our own feelings can hurt us on the long run, they can without us realizing stay with us forever, leave a permanent mark that we cannot get rid of. 

before you decide that your feelings are your feelings and that it is what it is, take a moment to think about those feelings, and if you are willing to keep up with their consequences and repercussions in the future, 

most of the time we just feel something and act based on how we feel هn that moment in time, on who we are at that point. but years, even days later we may find ourselves thinking differently and feeling differently about those feelings we were so fine with days earlier.

whether it is a random person passing the street who angers us, someone who parks sideways in a parallel parking line, or someone who we meet at a certain point in our lives, who makes us feel different and we decide to go with it, see what happens. 

a few hours later you may regret cursing that person walking slowly in front of you, you may start thinking of all possible reasons why they were walking that slow, why that person parked so recklessly in that place (no possible logical reason for that btw), and then start second guessing your reactions to all of that, but its too late now to amend any of that. 

but that's fine. those are things we can easily let go off, forgive ourselves, they won't stay with us. but other things will, things we let ourselves get carried with. 

feelings we allowed ourselves to entertain knowing fully well they cannot be good for us, conversations we have knowing in the moment we will regret later, a lot of things that we let our minds dismiss as feelings that cannot be changed or shook away when they can easily be and save us a lifetime of regret and disappointment. 

so yes, feelings are just feelings and you should not apologise for them, but you can maybe think twice about how you from the future would feel about you acting that way towards those feelings you're having at the moment. 

might save you a lot of future overthinking if you ask me. 

here it is folks, a two year lesson in the making.