dearest.

on this special day, please allow me to say a few things, for memories sake.. 

you don't know how lovely you are. you keep asking me why I do whatever I do -loving you, holding onto you, etc- and the answer is very simple, it's because of everything you are and everything you do.

you don't know how lovely you are. how kind you are. how adamant you are to make yourself and people around you better. but most importantly, you don't quite know how good your heart is. you are quite truly -in my humble opinion- a light that you cannot see with your own eyes. and seeing your heart in everything you do and say makes me admire you more and more everyday.  و علي رأي أم كلثوم و اللي جوة القلب كان في القلب جوة رحنا و اتغيرنا احنا إلا هو. الواحد اللي في قلبه باين مابيتغيرش كدة مهما عمل و بيبان للناس.

I may never go back to the version I used to be, the version I liked, the version you somehow saw beyond everything, but I at least regained some of it and I am trying to make this one better, mainly and truly thanks to you being there. thanks to you showing me that we can and should make ourselves better, that we should always try and never stop trying. your willingness to make things better for everyone as much as you can despite who this person is or what they did, even better if it's someone you love never fails to amaze me.

I am not saying you are an angel, it is quite the opposite of that, you are a human who realises how flawed they are and always tries to better themselves. my hope is one day you accept these flaws and learn to live with them because who isn't flawed. so instead of telling you how great I think you are I am going to tell you some facts: 

1. you are one of the kindest people I have ever met. 

2. you are the most selflessly selfish person I have ever met.

3. you are one of god's blessings in my life without a doubt.

4. knowing you has been one of the few best things that happened to me in the past few years. 

5. you inspire me to always try and be better.

6. your presence in this world definitely makes a difference. 
7. your friendship is something that i cherish everyday.
8. you are one of the bravest people I have ever met (yes I know there are braver people out there)

9. you are important.

and I say this with the reminder that wherever life takes us, does to us or throws at us, I think I will always appreciate you just the same because those are the facts. 

allow me to be even more cliche, and wish you only happy things, happy thoughts and bright outcomes on this day god graced us with your existence. 

I hope you stop trying to confide your soul or silence your heart because they make you who you are, and that you is quiet something. and I thank you for allowing me to see and know her.

here's to happier years, a relieved heart and a rested soul because you truly deserve those things. 

here's to you.