Sincerely, Hagar

I am a dreamer and a pessimist trapped inside one body. And I think that has always been a problem. All my life I have been quiet. And it has not made it easier for people to quickly warm up to me. But it also means it has made it easier for people to easily say things to me, things that shouldn't be said, things that they think wouldn't hurt or provoke a reaction since I am always so "quiet" anyways.  And all my life I have been content with this silence, careless about the assumptions, completely free. Until I wasn't. All I wanted from life is some ease and calm, some understanding and compassion. I wanted what I have always read about and watched in movies, whether in friendships, love, career or everything else. Because that's what I do, I dream of things that are unattainable, that are unrealistic and I wait for them to happen.  I waited for so long until I wasn't anymore. I waited until somehow a switch was flicked inside and I convinced myself that ...