Sincerely, Hagar

OK I actually finally managed just before they took it off the screen to watch Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald and I am so happy I did because man, that was something. So let's talk about it, shall we? First things first, I would to publicly declare that I would like to have JK Rowling's' imagination for myself. I mean, this woman and her imagination have been my companion for the last at least 10-12 years of my life, I think I now know more about the wizarding world more than that of our real world.  I won't lie, I am one of those people who were terrified of the new extension added to the Harry Potter universe and venturing into the past and future of the series, I mean why mess with what's already pretty good, I thought it was a horrible idea. But I mean, who am I kidding? I am a sucker for anything Harry Potter related so obviously I went with the flow. And so far so good, I regret nothing.  In fact, I...

My "official" graduation was a week ago and you can bet I have more feelings about it than any person ever needs to have. Its rather funny how throughout life, when a phase is done, its done and put behind, you never think about other people who still have to go through that phase or those who are still in it. When high school was over, for me it was over for good, people no longer went to high school because well, I no longer go to high school and I am the center of my own universe. But now, this is the last step before entering real life, it sounds silly but it's like before this point, I could still pretend to be something I am not, I could pretend to have something that occupies my life and give me a purpose, once its over, I am left with nothing. Unless I get a job -which so far I am failing to do so thank you very much- I am now considered to be a waste of air and space, someone with no purpose, which I am. But the thing is, for so long I have had to ...

The idea of letting go of something or someone so close to our heart is sometimes one of the worst and most painful ideas ever because you could feel the ache right there in your chest but you know there's nothing to be done about it. You either hurt yourself or hurt the person you love the most. Sometimes letting them go is for their best, sometimes it's for yours. Sometimes the misery you both have to battle through is better than being together.  Sometimes the painful, dull ache you feel whenever you hear their name is better than always hearing them say your name.  Sometimes you're not given the choice to walk away or say goodbye. Sometimes it's ripped right away from your hands before you could blink and it leaves you there, aching, hurting and most of all coping. Coping with not having them there all the time, coping with not being able to call them yours or even have their name on the tip of your tongue anymore. It's all taken away ...

"One of the risks of being quiet is that other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You're bored. You're depressed. You're shy. You're stuck up. You're judgmental. When others can't read us, they write their own story-not always one we choose or that's true to who we are." - Sophia Dembling. Aleph Collective (instagram) This quote pretty much sums up my entire life. I am a fairly quite person, I like to talk only when necessary and if we just met I will most probably sit there observing the scene, not uttering one single word. And that I think opened the door for the biggest misunderstanding of my existence. People think I am arrogant, stuck up, boring, shy, intimidating, you name it. They take a look at me and when they realise I am not capable of holding up a conversation on the first meeting they start speculating. And later on, if they stick around long enough to see the real me, which is hopefu...

Happily ever afters are so unrealistic, I have always known that, and the older I get the more I believe it. And yet, I am a sucker for watching them, stories that jump hoops to give a happily ever after to its characters. Hoops that in real life would break the necks of their jumpers and end the fairy-tale and the happily ever after bubble in a very realistic manner. In one of my favourite movies, ‘Stuck in Love’ one of the characters who’s a writer poses a very important question, “I am not quite sure what compels us to continue playing make believe even after we grow up”. Watching that scene always seriously makes me wonder about it, why? Why do we do that? Why do I as an adult love and will probably always love watching movies that have unrealistic endings where everything falls in place like a puzzle? That’s not right, its highly illogical and yet I still watch it anyways. I still laugh, cry and feel about it. For me, it’s a from of escape. A w...

Recently, I have become acquainted with a person who is so full of love, it's spilling out of them anywhere and everywhere they go. Not love in the way we have grown to identify "love" but real LOVE towards everything and everyone in a way that is almost eerie and unidentifiable to me.  I, someone who more or less seldom shows love, is very hard to love and is just very wary around anything and anyone with a relationship that has the L word in it.  Knowing that person, seeing the way they view the world, or try to view the world, despite the daily challenges, the shitty people and everything else, with love, has shed a whole new light on the way I have grown to view things. Everything in this world is almost carried with love, we are made with love, created with love, pushed into the world with love. Despite the side effects of it all, the way the world treats everyone, we all still somehow look, search for and if lucky enough manage to find love.  And it ...

Disclaimer: this is not actually a letter to my favourite doctor. It is a letter, but it is not to my favourite doctor, shall we see?  Dear _____.  You are quite honestly one of the worst humans I have had the pleasure of having to endure for the past four years. Because of course, lucky me, I had to take more than one course with your swell persona. I have heard some myths about you actually being a decent person outside uni, but personally, I have not seen one indication of that in the past four years.  Honestly, you suck.  You are disrespectful, disregarding to other people's feelings and for some reason find it quite funny to abuse your power over students as much as possible every semester. Effectively making their lives hell.  Why?  I mean I don't get. I would respect you a hundred times more than I do right now (which is something close to zero btw) if you actually took the time out o...

This year I miserably tried and failed to reach my minuscule reading goal, but with senior year running after me -literally- and my usual reading slump, I only managed to read 24 books, some even went unfinished. However, I think I managed to squeeze in good ones among these reads from my never ending tbr list, and these are my top picks, if you care whatsoever about what I think. Goodreads The Daughter of Smoke and Bone Series by Laini Taylor – 5 At number one I absolutely need to put the Daughter of Smoke and Bone series by Laini Taylor. The writing, oh my god. As someone who likes to humour herself by thinking she is a good writer I often find myself reading something that makes want to set fire to myself and everything I have ever written, and well this series was one of them, BIG TIME! Everything from the plot to the writing style to the character development was done in a an almost flawed pattern, it was so good I could not put them down, I al...