Graduation Season Crossroads

My "official" graduation was a week ago and you can bet I have more feelings about it than any person ever needs to have.

Its rather funny how throughout life, when a phase is done, its done and put behind, you never think about other people who still have to go through that phase or those who are still in it. When high school was over, for me it was over for good, people no longer went to high school because well, I no longer go to high school and I am the center of my own universe.

But now, this is the last step before entering real life, it sounds silly but it's like before this point, I could still pretend to be something I am not, I could pretend to have something that occupies my life and give me a purpose, once its over, I am left with nothing.

Unless I get a job -which so far I am failing to do so thank you very much- I am now considered to be a waste of air and space, someone with no purpose, which I am. But the thing is, for so long I have had to make the smallest choices regarding the path I will take in life, up until this point where it seems like this path has somehow been cut short and I am left standing on a ledge where I have to take a leap of some sort and hope it lands me somewhere good, somewhere I would want to be, and that is freaking scary if you ask me.

Not to mention, very worrying when you have no idea what kind of leap you should be taking. 

You see there are small leaps and there are big leaps and then there are leaps you must take because you can't just keep standing there; and where those leaps lead you is a different story depending on when you decide to take it and how you decide to take, even why you decide to take it. 

The most intimidating part is when you finally have to take one of those leaps, realize everyone or almost everyone else have already taken their leaps and landed in their own places, you no longer have a team, your teams throughout life's different phases are once again taken away from you, your routine is taken away from you. So not only do you have to jump, you have to do it alone because life and you have to do it hoping for the best because hope is all you've got. 

An advice that was given to me regarding this is not to think too much about it, but I mean who am I joking, I think about everything too much lol. 

But it is very true, I mean you obviously need to think because it's your future, but that doesn't mean you have to fry your brain thinking about it. What's meant for you will come to you sooner or later, until then you just need to keep pushing, looking, and searching for a purpose or a thing to do. 

Until you find your right leap and fall in your place, you have to keep going, you can't just stop because life does not wait for anyone and it surely won't be waiting around for you to get up and start moving. 

Breath, choose a step, take it, and wait for the rest to come along. 

And well, if the rest does not come along right away, don't worry it will. 

At least that's what I keep telling myself.