Quiet

"One of the risks of being quiet is that other people can fill your silence with their own interpretation: You're bored. You're depressed. You're shy. You're stuck up. You're judgmental. When others can't read us, they write their own story-not always one we choose or that's true to who we are." - Sophia Dembling.

Aleph Collective (instagram)

This quote pretty much sums up my entire life.

I am a fairly quite person, I like to talk only when necessary and if we just met I will most probably sit there observing the scene, not uttering one single word.

And that I think opened the door for the biggest misunderstanding of my existence.

People think I am arrogant, stuck up, boring, shy, intimidating, you name it. They take a look at me and when they realise I am not capable of holding up a conversation on the first meeting they start speculating.

And later on, if they stick around long enough to see the real me, which is hopefully non of the above, they are shocked.

As a result people constantly judge me.

They judge me for being a Muslim, for choosing to wear the hijab, for choosing to practice my religion, for the way I choose to wear the hijab, and for the way I choose to address myself according to my comforts and needs.

They judge me for the people I choose to hang out with. They judge me when I am out with my mother, minding my own business, simply because she wears the niqab or burqa. They judge me when I am out with my friend who doesn't wear the hijab, who has multiple earrings and colours her hair a different colour every week.

They judge me based on all that exterior, without for once stopping to think about me. The real me.

The person I am under all those labels they decided to put on me. The person I am simply because I choose not to follow the heard and be whoever the hell I want to be. But why would it all matter when they can take one look at me and form a judgement?

People don't really know how to cut each other slack, they don't know how to envision the person they're seeing, beyond what they can actually see of them. And you know what? I was all of those people at some point.

I was every single one of them, but then I stopped and asked myself about those people I was blatantly judging without knowing, asking myself about their background stories their ideas, passions and mistakes, when you think about it, no one is ever really only what you can see on the outside, people are seas, deep oceans that cannot be crossed with one glance or one conversation.

The thing is most of us judging, don't really give two shits about those we judge, its just our brains are programmed to judge and notice anything that is different to what we perceive as normal, different to what we know and are comfortable with, so sometimes, even without knowing it, we judge, harshly.

The world is not only you and me, the world is more than that. Every person is the center of their own world, but really, this world is vast and wide full to the brim with different cultures, traditions, religions and so much more. No two people are ever going to act exactly the same or agree on the same things, in fact it is the main point of our existence, to co-exist. 

In the Quran, there is a verse that says "O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted."(49:13). 

And one of the explanations of this verse says that yes, we were created to spread all over the earth, creating different tribes, cultures, etc, but that in no means gives the excuse of one race being superior to the other, of people being divided into societal categories of high and low, and in no means any one should look down upon someone who does not share the same values, characteristics or traditions with, for what we are really judged on at the end is how good our hearts are, nothing more, nothing less.

So next time you think about judging someone, stop and remind yourself that you are no better than this person because of how sociable, pious, attractive, -or whatever social standard we have been taught to be superior- you are.